I was an avid aerobics enthusiast until about a couple of years ago. I started aerobics in my early twenties. I never had second thoughts until I had a hyperventilation attack a couple of years ago. Aerobics helped in maintaining my physical well-being, but it was becoming less effective as the years went by. It made me aware that I was growing old because I wasn't able to jump around like I used to. This in turn led to me becoming resigned to the inevitable aging process. I would have continued on this path if it wasn't for the hyperventilation episode. It led me to examine my choices regarding my physical and mental health.
I experimented with Bikram Yoga early last year on a weekend basis only. It was mostly unsuccessful because any gains I may have made over the weekend were lost over the week and so I was starting from scratch every weekend. Kind of like the movie "Groundhog Day". Then I tried swimming and doing weights every morning for about three months. I didn't see any improvements and I missed the camaraderie of a group of people working out together. So, late last year I signed up for a one month unlimited. I already knew some of the instructors and liked their style. This time I tried to attend at least four to five times a week as recommended. So far I haven't had an easy class yet. In every class the first asana is always hard. But I have continued to attend because of some unexpected benefits. A big initial benefit was what I call the lazy weight loss - losing the weight accumulated because I was too lazy or had work pressures that prevented me from exercising. This loss happened in the first month. So I continued on and found that I was starting to loose inches around the torso. In the first three months I lost about eight to ten pounds. The best thing was that I didn't have to change my eating habits. So I was hooked. When I returned from my vacation in India I was eager to get back to a good old hot yoga class.
One of the big issues in my life has been struggling with stuttering/stammering. It was a part of me as long as I can remember, caused me numerous embarrassments growing up. As I grew older I got better at hiding it by tricks like prolonging a syllable when I felt a stutter approach, not using certain words or sounds. I thought the solution was to constantly practice speaking in front of strangers. Joining a speaking club helped in making me comfortable enough to speak to audiences, but it didn't address the issue of bad breathing habits developed over a lifetime. Pranayama breathing unexpectedly is helping me here. My breathing has improved such that I am less and less aware of the impending stutter/stammer. It has also gotten quieter.
Another of my chronic problems is the fact that I am flat-footed, i.e. the instep of my foot is very shallow, almost flat. This makes all the balancing postures that much harder and painful on the instep. What it teaches me though is to rely on the core body strength to balance myself, not just my feet. One expected outcome is that I no longer hear myself walk. It is strange but I always thought that I had a heavier tread than normal. Some friend even blamed it on my star sign! And all the time it was bad balancing habits! Who knew! My feet muscles are getting stronger - I can actually feel them in the second part of Uttkatasana, the awkward pose. So far I have been seeing monthly sometimes weekly improvements in myself. And the intriguing thing is that these improvements have been in unexpected areas. While a part of me wants to fast forward to a year ahead to see what other discoveries/improvements await me, another part is being almost forced to realize the "compound interest" effect.
In conclusion, Bikram Yoga is making me optimistic and hopeful about the future and at the same time it is teaching me patience and tolerance for myself and hence for others.
Sharmila Rao-Pence
