I began practicing Bikram yoga shortly after shedding the back brace that adorned my body for a full year. I had just recovered from a crushed vertebrate and my pain management doctor suggested for me to practice some sort of yoga. I desperately wanted off of the narcotics and was tired of enduring epidurals and injections.
At the beginning, I had a consistent and successful practice. I was in the best shape of my life. After about a year and a half of practicing, school and work began to occupy my time and my yoga was pushed to the wayside. I began to experience severe depression, weight gain, and unmanageable back pain. After graduating college in December of 2006, I decided to rededicate myself to the yoga that I had once enjoyed. I decided to complete the 60-day challenge.
Committing to the challenge was extremely difficult for me, because I have commitment issues! The fear of not finishing the challenge haunted me, because I didn't want to face my teachers or fellow yogis if I didn't follow through.
Because I have an extensive record of excuse making – I decided to make my challenge known to as many people as possible. I started telling everyone, including my family, friends, and coworkers. I figured the more people I made aware, the harder it would be for me to back out.
The first few weeks of the challenge were very difficult for me. I didn't feel different. I didn't feel a sense of euphoria. I just felt like I was "getting by". I didn't have any breakthroughs; my endurance wasn't getting any better. I couldn't see any results. I was completely and utterly discouraged. Several times I tried to convince myself that maybe this wasn't for me – maybe it doesn't work for everybody. I searched for any excuse that would be adequate. I was just not that into the challenge anymore – I wanted to quit. The promise of a new body and a new mind seemed meaningless and out of reach – and I was resolved to the fact that I would not be attaining a new life.
After an emotional breakdown at the end of week three – things began to change. I realized that there were a lot of things in my life that deserved attending to, especially my thoughts and attitude. I truly believe that my negative attitude was attributing to and increasing my back pain. I was ready to start making changes. I started becoming more connected with my Spirit, my Mind, and my Body. Four weeks into the challenge, I started enjoying yoga again.
After getting past the halfway point – I began to understand that this yoga is much more than the physical. This challenge was working on my mind too. Because of the shift in my attitude - I started attracting positive people and began to shed the negative people in my life. I now have direction in my life. My purpose in life is to help other people – and although I am not sure in what medium I will do so - I am positive that I will find a way to fulfill my life's intention.
In the first thirty days, I lost over 6 inches in my chest, waist, and hip area and 4% body fat. But more importantly, I gained a new outlook on life and a better attitude. Although the physical results are awesome – my most treasured attribute that I regained is my Integrity. I will finish what I committed to, and nothing will get in my way. I don't know what's ahead for me – but I do know I'm excited about my future and what is in store for me. This challenge has truly changed my life. Bikram yoga has restored in me a new fire that burns bright enough for myself and others to see.
