My first Bikram yoga class was at 4 pm on Sunday, October 13, 2002. I came with my sister Cherie. For several months, she had been telling me what a great workout it was. I almost started laughing during pranayama deep breathing. What a silly noise! The laughter soon ended as I struggled to suck my stomach in, look in the mirror, keep my head down, while lifting my elbows up and breathing as much as possible. I felt as if firecrackers were going off in my brain as my poor neurons tried to keep up with all the new connections my body was making. I felt stiff, awkward, exhausted. Somewhere deep inside, I had the sense that this yoga was good. I came for the workout but discovered something so much more. I found connection.
Connection- that for me is the essence of Bikram yoga. I have learned to connect to my body, my mind and my heart. By becoming more connected to myself, I am better able to connect to others. By connecting to others, we all become something more.
Physically, Bikram yoga has helped me become aware of my body. I now am aware of the tension I hold in my shoulders, my back and even in my face. (I have thought about getting Botax so Karen does not have to tell me to stop wrinkling my forehead.) This yoga has taught me to move differently. I cannot fight or force a posture. I have learned to let go, to relax into it. It is amazing where the body will go when the mind stops over thinking, over analyzing.
My learning to let go physically, I have learned to start to let go emotionally. Emotions do hide in our bodies, usually as tension, tightness. To let the tension go, the emotions have to go. The emotions have to be felt, but let go, not to fight and hold on. Fear has been replaced with acceptance. In class, I am forced to look at myself and face where I am today-honestly and openly. Frustration has been replaced with patience. Change takes time and commitment. My body and mind I have today did not form overnight and will not change overnight. Everyday, improvements, process can be made.
Spiritually, Bikram yoga has opened my mind. I have been motivated to learn about mediation, to read inspirational stories, to subscribe to Great Day. I have never taken a spin class where afterwards I wanted to read a book or check out a web site!
The studio has also created a great sense of community. It is inspirational to read, hear, and see that we are all struggling with something. It is good to know that I am not alone in my challenges either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. We are all searching for peace, joy, and love. Bikram yoga is a great place to connect to yourself and to others. And that is what this life is all about.
Jeanne Joglar
